A Tall Tale
'Autobot Naval Platform ' A lavish hall greets you, decorated with the finest in Mexican chandeliers, a framed portrait of Chikome-Ollin lit by soft candlelight dominates the far wall. In the middle is a huge oak table, a map of the region blu-tacked to it with little pins to symbolise troop movements. A large wine cabinet is visible, full of the finest vintages, half drunk goblets scattered all over the workstations. Below you can hear the loud chopping of the crushers that help to power the engine, forever cutting down with their razor-sharp edges before the firepits. The sleeping quarters are off to the side, each bed made of plush goose-down, transformer sized and covered in imperial designs and carving of Chikome-Ollin's face. The legend "CHIKOME-OLLIN - HE LIVES IN OUR HEARTS - MEXICO" is inscribed on the plaque of dedication -- below this is a tiny plaque inscribed with "Also sponsored by the Kenya Momesa scholarship award. Turntail boards the vessel rather hesitantly, his blue optics adjusting to the light change as he strides through into the richly decorated hall. Pausing mid-step, the blue Autobot looks about himself in confusion, "Well er.. glad to see our engineers are keeping this thing on task.." Moving in slowly, Turntail slides his fingers along the giant oaken table, "Nice and.. militant." Raindance is currently hovering next to a chandelier, a cigar jammed into his noseconee nozzle, puffing it. He twirls as Turntail enters. "Greetings Autobot, I am Raindance the /director of security/ for this naval platform!" Turntail steps back suddenly, his optics wide as the hovering.. thing confronts him, "For the love of Pri... I thought the ceiling panel had fallen down.." Looking over his fellow Autobot, Turntail continues, "Director of Security, eh? Where's this thing headed?" Raindance just... hovers there, bobbing up and down, silent at the question. And then "Hmmm, thats a mighty spylike question there, I might have to use my lie detector on you. Sit DOWN!" He bobs in the direction of a chair that has a salad drainer balanced on top. "And put the helmet on your head" Raindance says, "Don't want to panic you guys here, but... possible Decepticon SPY found" Whirligig says, "Huh? Where?" Turntail says, "Decepticon SPY?! How dare you!" Raindance says, "In our new Naval Platform, but don't worry, I am interrogating!" City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "...." Sunstreaker says, "Do I /want/ to know?" Turntail crouches back, his metallic lip curling into a sneer as he narrows his optics; glaring at the floating thing, "I am no such thing, damn your circuits!" City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Raindance?" Raindance says, "Yes sir?" City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "You are of course operating within the bounds of the genevatron convention, correct?" "What did you say? What?" Raindance emits as his little pulsing raygun charges up. "Thats it buddy, you're out of order. Onto the chair, put the lie helmet on NOW!" A stun way waves out of his nozzle, arcing towards Turntail You successfully strike Turntail, who is now temporarily incapacitated. Raindance says, "He tried to use WITCHCRAFT on me sir and damn my circuits, so I shot him" Turntail says, "This floating piece of scrap is malfunctioning he-" Turntail is cut off, leaving only static on the channel. City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "C'c'c'carry on, soldier." Arcee sounds startled. "Ultra Magnus...? Are you all right?" Whirligig says, "Raindance, I don't think we're supposed to shoot at our friends. and last I checked, Turntail was a friend!" Raindance says, "Well he tried to use witchcraft on me Whirligig, I don't call THAT friendly" Whirligig says, "He used... witchcraft?" Raindance says, "Yes he tried to damn me" Raindance says, "You are welcome to come along to view the interrogation" Turntail shudders as the wave of energy sparks over the Autobot's chassis, his leg servos falling from under himself as he lands heavily in the seat. His optics glaring, albeit drunkly, in Raindance's direction. City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Decepticon Witchcraft cannot be allowed weithin the sanctity of the A'a'a'yobot kingd'd'dom." Saboteur Foxfire says, "Magnus...are you all right?" Arcee says, "Magnus, you sound terrible. Maybe you should see a medic." Whirligig says, "Oh! Oh! I'm a medic!" Whirligig says, "Well not really but I have all the training a medic requires." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Affirmative, Foxpyre. Negative Arcee, I am within full operational cucumber parameters." Saboteur Foxfire says, "Really, 'Gig?" Saboteur Foxfire says, "..." Saboteur Foxfire says, "What'd you just call me? Foxpyre?" Raindance slowly nudges the salad bowl over Turntail's head as he fusses over the fallen Autobot, loosely looping a few ropes around him and the chair. Then he hovers by a photocopier. "You with me, Mr Witchy Traitor?" he emits Arcee says, "Operational... cucumber?" Whirligig says, "Um, sir... I really think maybe you should let me take a look..." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "No, we 'm'm'must retain alla medical officers in case of sudden dance paddle." Raindance says, "Makes sense to me" Whirligig says, "but I'm not a medical officer! I'm an engineer. I just have medical /training/." Sunstreaker says, "...did Sideswipe slip something into your energon, Ultra Magnus?" Raindance says, "Interesting Whirligig... report to the SS Ollin for interrogation next" Turntail shakes his head module sharply as he returns to full operation, his optics refocussing on Raindance as he growls sharply; strugglign against his bonds, "You malfunctioning piece of slag! Just you wait- Do you know who I am?!" Whirligig says, "Interrogation? Why would I need interrogated?" Sideswipe says, "Hey, don't blame me! I ain't even seen the mech in weels!" Sunstreaker says, "Hey, it was an honest assumption." Raindance says, "A medic who claims not to be a medic? Sounds fishy to me" Silverbolt says, "Raindance.....knock it off." Whirligig says, "I'm an engineer, Raindance. You know me! I build things, y'know? Peacekeeper trained me, so I have full medical /training/." Silverbolt says, "I'll vouch for Whirligig that she's fine." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Ag'g'g'greed, Raindance. Whirligig, pleace take a number and wait in line for icec'c'c'c'cream." Raindance seemingly ignores the insults. He is a floating triangle, so he has a really good poker face. "Yes you are a Decepticon! Now Turntail, I will use this lie detector on you." He bobs closer to the photocopier. There is a piece of string that joins it and the salad bowl together. "Okay. Answer the question. Are you a Decepticon traitor?" Whirligig says, "Man, and you guys say /I'm/ crazy." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Silv'verbolt, no fraternizing with the Osprey. I do not approve of aerial cross-breeding." Raindance says, "See Magnus agrees with me. I must say sir, you have become much more coherant lately" Whirligig says, "Buh?!" Silverbolt says, "Magnus...Pending a full analysis, I'm relieving you of command until further notice. "SunStreaker, Sideswipe, Escort Ultra Magnus to the Mecial bay." Silverbolt says, "Whirligig....Report to the Medical Bay." Whirligig says, "Eep..." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "The Whitezone is for loading and unloading of-.. You'll never take me alive!" Sunstreaker says, "You know, 'bolt, I'd normally comply. But I'm not going anywhere /near/ that right now." Sideswipe says, "Screw that, I'm not going near the guy, he might be contagious!" Sunstreaker says, "gotta agree with my bro on this one." Saboteur Foxfire says, "That's it. Forgive me, sir, but... Get Magnus, we need to find out what's happening!" Whirligig says, "You guys want /me/ to examine him?!" City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Not without buying me d'd'd'd'dinner first." Silverbolt says, "Sideswipe, Sunstreaker.....you two either take Magnus to the repair bay........or I'm forbidding either of you to get buffed, oiled and waxed for a full month." Saboteur Foxfire says, "...What Silverbolt said." Silverbolt says, "It wasn't a suggestion Whirligig." Whirligig makes a nervous sound. Sideswipe says, "Hey, Who put you in charge anyway? I don't hea a 'imus' at the end of your name." Sunstreaker says, "Then I'll fracking live. I'm not doing it." Saboteur Foxfire says, "Just DO it, Sideswipe! You too, Sunstreaker! NOW!" Turntail rolls his optics, how he did that - I'm not sure, but he did his best. "What is wrong with you? of course I'm not a Decepticon spy," He speaks through clenched teeth, "Now can you. Please. Release me." As Turntail replies, Raindance smacks the copy button on the photocopier. A light moves across it, and out comes a piece of paper with the word "LIE" scrawled across it. "Well well well" Raindance beeps, hovering triumphantly. "What have we here? And how long HAVE you been working for Galvatron, TRAITORtail?" Sunstreaker says, "Yell all you want. Throw me in solitary. I don't give a flying scrap. You're a big, tough combiner team head, Silverbolt. Why don't /you/ do it?" Turntail says, "I think you're all forgetting the major issue here. Can someone get this STINKING FLOATING TRIANGLE TO UNTIE ME?!" Saboteur Foxfire says, "*I'll* do it. For Primus's sake..." Silverbolt says, "I'm on my way, Sunstreaker. and you're helping me." Saboteur Foxfire says, "Raindance, what are you doing?" Raindance says, "I can't untie you I have no hands" Raindance says, "Nothing Foxfire, back to your box" Silverbolt says, "Sky Lynx?" Sunstreaker says, "Screw that. Like I said, I'm with my bro on this one." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "The war effort thanks you for your donation of hands, Raindance. Your mustard will not go un rewarded." Saboteur Foxfire says, "I'll kill you later, Raindance." Arcee says, "I'll be up there shortly, Turntail." Sideswipe says, "They ain't got a pole long enough for me to touch that guy!" Silverbolt says, "Foxfire?" Raindance says, "See, my mustard will not go unrewarded" Saboteur Foxfire says, "Yes, Silverbolt?" Turntail rotates his shoulder plates out, broadening his chassis as the rope strains under his body; his hands moving to tear at the rope as he growls out at Raindance, "That depends. How LONG have you had the brains of a FURBY Raindance?!" Raindance bobs backwards as Turntail starts to look a bit more scary. But then again, as he is a triangle, everything looks scary. He hits the button, and the same bit of paper that says "LIE" comes out the copier. "Aha see... your lies betray you!" he bleeps. "What do they pay you in Turntail? Orphans? Did they promise you New Zealand when they had the Earth? Spill!" Turntail clenches his jaw visibly with a whirr of servos, his strong arms pulling at his restraints as he tears away the arms of the wooden chair - clearly his patience tested a little too far. Tearing away the restraints, Turntail spins on his heels, the salad bowl remaining on his head as he glares at Raindance, his legs striding to the floating triangle, "I'm NO spy, rust you!" Raindance starts backing away from Turntail, hitting the photocopier again, the piece of paper saying "LIE" churning out of it. "I want you Turntail, I'm armed!" he chirps. "Well I have /weapons/ at any rate. One wrong move and it'll be TurnOVER!" It doesn't take long before Arcee trots inside, her optics narrowed, expression grim. "Raindance!" She's got her fists clenched and she looks rather angry. "Stand down this instant!" Turntail looks aside, his optics scanning over the new arrival for a moment, his metallic lip curling into a fresh smile as he looks sharply back to Raindance, hanging back somewhatnow she's arrived; Raindance does have some weaponry, after all. "Stand down? What do you think I am, a guy with legs!" Raindance emits. "I am just making sure Turntail here isn't a spy, and look what he did to my security rope! Its shocking!" The little tape hovers over an oak chair, as if sitting on it. "I swear, you guys just make this so so much harder..." Arcee scowls with a look that quite possibly rivals Andi's "Mommy Glare," her hands on her hips, lips drawn very tight. "I am not in the mood to argue this with you, Raindance. You are /not/ to harm him. That's a direct order." Turntail, feeling somewhat demasculated, drops his stance and pulls away the salad bowl from his head. His hands casually brushing himself - and the remains of Raindance's security tape - from his sloping blue shoulders. Forcing a sneer, Turntail regards Raindance theatrically in front of Arcee, "Not like this Malfunction could harm me.." Casting a sidelong glance across the femm-bot, he continues, "You think its wise to leave him in charge over here, Ma'am?" "Well Arcee, if I wasn't the security director of this naval platform then I would totally obey you, but I am, and your orders and pink colour make me suspicous. Because isn't pink JUST LIKE DECEPTICON PURPLE!" The little tape suddenly floats up into the air, firing off a pulse of stun energy at Arcee. "And you haven't been cleared yet Turntail! And you won't be if you keep being mean!" Arcee evades your Stun Beam attack. Arcee slips to the side gracefully, her arms folded. "Security director or not, Raindance, I am /still/ a ranking officer. And that means my orders have weight. So if you don't want to be put on floor-swabbing duty with brillo pads taped to the bottoms of your feet for the next three months, I suggest you listen." With that, she makes a grab at the little cassette. You evade Arcee's grasp attack. "Aaa help me!" cries Raindance as he bobs into the air above Arcee's head. "This is my boat stop it Arcee, you are helping traitors. He might magic away your arms and legs and head, and then you will be just like me!" On the bottom of Raindance opens up a bomb bay, and a brillo pad falls out, aimed at Arcee's head Raindance succeeds in grasping Arcee, throwing her off-balance. Turntail swivels back from the arc of stun energy as it streams past the two Autobots, curling his lip, the blue Bot untucks a black pistol from his chassis, taking it in both his hands as he aims it straight toward Raindance, "Alright, alright.. I've had enough. HOVER WHERE YOU ARE AND NO MOVEMENTS, RAINDANCE!" Arcee tries to grab Raindance, and gets a brillo pad to the face. Startled, the femme takes a few steps back. "Okay, this is getting /absolutely/ ridiculous..." "Aha, a gun!" Raindance emits. "See Arcee, he shows his true colours! Only a traitor would aim a gun at me! Luckily I have my high-tech anti-gun device!" He flies at Turntail, and launches another brillo pad from his bombbay Raindance succeeds in grasping Turntail, throwing him off-balance. Turntail, taken by surprise, lets fly a stream of low-yield energy from his pistol into one of the many rich tapestry's in the room, shredding the fabric at the join as he gets slide a yelp. Arcee says, "Can someone please explain to me why everyone seems to have gone /crazy/ today?!" Saboteur Foxfire says, "Raindance is always crazy. As for Magnus...uh...I'm not sure." Arcee says, "I'm just trying to get Raindance to actually listen to /orders/." Raindance says, "Shhh" Finally, Arcee throws down the brillo pad. "Raindance... this has gone far enough. I'm tired of this. The Decepticons are a big enough threat without one of our own making it easier for them to hit us." She points outside. "Just think, Raindance. What if right now, while you carry on this charade, the Decepticons are waiting to strike?" Hot Spot says, "You'd be a little... funny if you guys couldn't use your arms or legs." Hot Spot says, "Because they didn't exist." Turntail says, "A Decepticon spiking the energon perhaps?" Andi Lassiter breaks out the Mommy Voice. "Raindance. You will mind Arcee or I will have serious words for you." Raindance says, "Hot Spot tell Arcee I am /allowed/ to interrogate traitors in the SS Ollin" Hot Spot says, "Raindance is indeed Security Director of the SS Ollin." Hot Spot says, "For... some reason." Hot Spot says, "I don't remember writing it, but there it is." Saboteur Foxfire says, "Hm, Andi...could you teach me to do that? Could be useful." Nightbeat says, "The SS Ollin? That sounds like somebody's idea of a bad joke..." Arcee says, "Well, then, Hot Spot, maybe you can explain to me why he's decided every Autobot that enters this thing is a traitor." Raindance says, "The drawbacks of external funding, Nightbeat" Hot Spot says, "I let the Earth-Militant Autobots name it, because they built the thing." Hot Spot says, "Arcee, we've been putting up with Cliffjumper for millions of years, haven't we?" Saboteur Foxfire sighs... Nightbeat says, "Even Cliffjumper hasn't been that bad." "Well" chirps Raindance. "In that case I would find it suspicious that I was being distracted while the Decepticons massed outside. But I'm sure you can't be a traitor." He pauses for a while. "But Turntail... I want him to be on a tight leash!" He points over to a cupboard which has a collar and leash on it. "We put him in that, I'm sure he can't get into much trouble Nightbeat says, "Until recently." Arcee says, "Wonderful. So aside from the Decepticons, we're also worrying about the weakness of our own structure. I feel an ache in my processor coming on..." Silverbolt says, "Arcee...." Andi Lassiter says, "Arcee, where are you? Do I need to come out there and get everyone's heads on straight?" Saboteur Foxfire says, "If Cliffjumper starts accusing ME of being a traitor...I'm gonna bite him." Andi Lassiter says, "Foxfire, enough." Arcee says, "I think I can handle this. I'll call if I need assistance." Silverbolt grumbles. "Arcee....Relieve Raindance. please." Saboteur Foxfire says, "Okay, okay..." Saboteur Foxfire says, "And Raindance? Behave yourself." Sunstreaker says, "Okay, I'm going to the training room until the crazy passes." Turntail grinds his teeth, the blue Autobot seething as he clenches his fists, "Raindance.. you.." SHaking his head, "I've had enough of this." Stepping back somewhat, Turntail stoops down, his chassis folding and reshaping over his robotic figure - soon leaving the sleek shape of his blue Saleen S7 alt mode on the stylish floor, a energon emitter sliding from a hidden panel. You evade Turntail's special attack. City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Autobots, S's's'security alert, I'm under attack!" Silverbolt says, "NO! Fireflight, get up here to....*sounds of struggle*....Magnus office to....*more sounds of struggle*.....help me get Magnus to the......*grumble....* the medical bay!" Saboteur Foxfire says, "Don't listen to Magnus! There's something wrong with him!" "I've had enough of this. Raindance, no one is going to be leashed /or/ collared. Effective immediately, I am taking command here." Arcee's expression is sharp. "Right now, Ultra Magnus could very well be infected..." She pauses. Could it be that simple? "...and you are distracting us from finding the perpetrators. That's a rather Decepticon-esque act." Raindance floats there, bobbing to avoid Turntail's shot. His little leds dim and his voice lowers. "/Well/. /Well then/. You go play detective Arcee, I will continue to guard the security of /my/ Naval Platform Thing! Mexico!" He hovers upwards to hide in the chandelier, a little cigar whirring out from his nosecone Turntail folds his arms across his chest plate as he transforms, grumbling under his breath before looking up to Arcee, forcing a slow, warm smile, "Thanks for the assistance, Ma'am." Arcee sighs as she rests her weight on one leg, smiling at Turntail. "Don't worry about it. Sometimes you just have to know what to say." Her smile widens a bit. "And please don't call me "ma'am." It's too rigid. Call me Arcee." Turntail curls his metallic lips into a grin, and a nod, "Guess its just second nature, gotta be nice to the ones in charge. Never know where they might be sending you." With this, a wink. Saboteur Foxfire says, "Magnus is calling us renegades and criminals. Apparently I *am* a bad fox." Arcee chuckles softly. "Well, I don't think you have to worry about me really /sending/ anyone anywhere. Taking them with me, perhaps. But I don't like the thought of just sending people haphazardly." Turntail casts an optic up to Raindance as he rests his hand son his hips, with a nod, he speaks, "Maybe it'll be a good idea to er.. take him back to Autobot City. Never know, Magnus might have the same thing as this lump of Toblerone." A brillo pad falls from the chandelier, aimed at Turntail's head Turntail evades your grasp attack. Arcee chuckles lightly. "This really is sort of par for the course. Just leave him be... he'll be fine once he cools down." Turntail dodges the brillo pad with a swift step back from the chandelier, offering a growl up in reply, looking back to Arcee, the blue Bot offers a slow smile and a nod, "Alright.. fair enough." Scanning over the femm-bots features, Turntail turns to face her, his shoulders rotated out with his pushed out chest plate, increasing his stature as his optics eye Arcee, "And what about you? Staying in Russia long?" "As long as I need to be," Arcee responds calmly. "They need a commanding officer here, and I fit the bill well enough. Beyond that, there's a girl in Yamalia I intend to help." Turntail nods solemnly, "We've been lacking in leadership in these parts." With a proud, theatrically solemn smile, the Autobot continues, "And, despite what the.. former Director.. thinks, I'm here to serve." Pausing for a moment, Turntail look sback to Arcee, "Girl, you say?" Arcee nods softly. "A human child First Aid rescued. She's an orphan... I'm trying to find some way to help her." She shifts her weight, gazing up toward where Raindance hovered. "I figure I can do some good."